Guys Index

Have you ever stopped to consider what your reality means to you? It's usually something that we don't even think about. We all have our opinions and our model of life and we generally think that our world view is the right one.

That doesn't however explain why two people of the same age and background living in the same environment with similar prospects can have radically different points of view. I am sure you have met people throughout your life who have some ideas that you find so strange and alien that they could well be from a different planet.

The reason for these differences is simple. Our thoughts shape our reality. If we think something is real, then quite simply it IS real. Some of us have irrational fears and phobias and although other people might find them bizarre or even stupid, for the sufferer nothing could be more real or terrifying and our bodies start to react to that perceived threat even if there is nothing to be scared of. There is such a strong mind-body connection that our thoughts literally affect our bodies. If, for example, I told you that I wanted you to feel fear, you would probably find it difficult. But if I read to you a passage from a scary book, a book that generates frightening thoughts, then your heart rate would start to increase, you would become anxious, maybe start hearing strange noises in a different part of the house and your mind would begin to play tricks on you. In this example your thoughts have set in motion a chain reaction of physiological changes to the body.

The power of the mind is an amazing thing. It has literally helped people cure themselves of terminal illnesses, given super-strength to people in times of desperate trouble. It can be inspired or weigh us down in misery. Luckily there are many resources to help us change the way we see our lives. I think we owe it to ourselves to become the best we can be. To take up the challenge of our perfect selves instead of brushing off our inadequacies by saying "oh, I've always been shy" or "I'm useless with money". These statements and hundreds more like them are negative patterns of self-talk. When we use them not only are we reinforcing our own bad habits and wrong ways of thinking but we are also excusing ourselves from doing anything about them.

If you invested your money into a top of the range computer but ran an old out-dated operating system on it, it would not run to its potential. Sooner or later errors would be displayed and things would go wrong. The mind is no different to a biological computer. Sometimes we have the wrong software installed or a bit of internal coding needs updating. Who were the people responsible for programming us when we were babies and children? Ask yourself that and see if you think they were really up to the job.

If we don't look to sort these problems out then we get stuck in wrong thinking with realities that aren't what we want them to be.

As a guide to self-help it is always good to do some introspection. Sit down in a quiet moment and decide what parts of your personality you would like to change. It may be a bad habit or a fear or phobia. It may even be an over-strong character trait like being bossy. We don't have to keep these labels anymore. As soon as you start changing your thoughts then you can change your life. And once you do that you will see the difference in how people interact with you. The consequences can be very far reaching.

Some amazing results have been achieved with treatments such as hypnotherapy, where rapid and permanent change can take place. You only have to see how many people have success with stopping smoking using hypnotherapy to see that it works very well. Positive suggestions are placed into the mind using "back door" techniques which means the conscious mind does not interfere with their effectiveness. Quitting smoking is only one example. With hypnotherapy the sky is the limit and there are many different conditions it can help.

Other ways of conditioning the mind can be found with techniques like using positive affirmations or subliminal messaging. These techniques generally work slower but can still powerfully change us. Positive affirmations are a convenient way to reinforce statements of belief about ourselves. We literally grow into a new concept of who we are. Try it yourself. Look in the mirror, look straight into your eyes - something we rarely do with any conscious thought - and talk to yourself. Give yourself a smile and affirm a positive statement. "I am a wonderful person to know" or something else that brings up your level of self esteem and worth. When we state these positive affirmations several times a day then we start to believe they are true. Our thoughts change and therefore our reality changes. No longer do we have to be stuck in the past but we can make a new model of ourselves for the future - the place we are going to spend the rest of our lives.

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